Friday, May 21, 2010

Where is The Perfect Match hiding?

As rave reviews for The perfect Match continue to pile in, it is a source of bewilderment to the British Public where to purchase this tome of fine dating advice.
When pressed on the subject The Rani responded with a non-committal'It's the ash cloud you see...when it lifts just before the World Cup, I promise you will see The Perfect Match covering the shelves of all major book retailers'. Let's hope he's right!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Rani is reeling after John Smiths shuts

After achieving promotion to the front window of John Smith's bookshop in Wolverhampton, the Rani was stunned to learn that the shop had closed down only 1 week later.

The Rani was heard saying 'It's easy to point the finger at the Perfect Match but for me the rot set in on Cup Final day when Portsmouth couldn't beat Chelsea after God had given them a 5 goal head start.When you cant capitalise on stats like that, the negativity can spread across the country and before you know it...you've got bookshops closing'.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Perfect Match delivers the keys to Number 10

As a new prime minister was elected last night, it was only fitting that Mr Cameron's first call was to The Rani. Cameron thanked The Rani for writing the Perfect Match, as he had used the formula himself, with a few minor amendments, to assist in his courtship of the Liberal Democrats. Speaking live from the kitchen with a can of Bass in his hand, The Rani said, 'I am a simple man here to serve my country. If that means helping to form a government so be it'.

However, his neighbour Andy (who was drinking Old Speckled Hen) said 'you'll have to forgive The Rani's self-indulgence...it's been a hectic couple of days'.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Perfect Match achieves automatic promotion

It is with Newcastleesque delight that I am reporting that The Perfect Match has been automatically promoted to the shop window of John Smiths bookshop at the University of Wolverhampton. The author Neil 'The Rani' Hingorani said that in these uncertain political times it will give the blokes of Britain great comfort to know there is one team that has risen above political differences to place itself firmly at the forefront of Britain's Dating Manifesto.Your first eleven is waiting for you! Here Here!